Past, Present & Future

 If I knew,
What tomorrow would be?
There, no concerns would be
Or fretting' about what happened,
Yesterday

Bang!
Like thick lead pipes
Against the sides of my dreams
Against, the back walls
Of my unconscious state of mind
Bang! Bang! And, Bang!
Again, until I awoke
The same thing, every morning;
All the time-
Rubbing the grit out my eyes
And, clearing my throat.

If I could only know,
What awaits me today?
I would go about the day, carefully
To make no mistake that would,
Affect the rest of my life.

-Closing,
Putting an end to the events
Of the day, reviewing the thoughts,
In my mind to make room;
For the concerns, of tomorrow
Closing, for the day
Turning off all but,
One small light;
All the doors locked
Power off the remote
Same as, the evening before
Time to rest these heavy eyes-
As the Pad & Pen, are
Put away for the night.

If I could only know,
What my Dreams, would be

Chronic Pain

Chronic Pain

Unpredictable and Uncontrolled,
So Quick and So Spontaneous

First, being External
Affecting my Internal;
Like the Affect of a Viper
'Gyre, 'Lithe, Striking me within

But, No one knows,
     No one knows

Like some Tortured, by our own
Un-designated and not Premeditated;
Nevertheless, A Random Victim
Not of something, anyone can see;
Through me External or Internally

My Tears are Exposed despite
How I hide and, My Whiffling is heard
My Scars, are Old and Healed;
Yet, the mark of an Old Bruise
On the small of my back
But, It's still there

I feel it Everyday
And, Right now I feel like
     No one knows Its name,
     No one understands;
     No one knows, it but ME

I remember being this-
Frabjous, Galumphing Person;
Beamish
Not giving into temptations
Yet, not taking Life for Granted

Because, I knew Then,
A Decade ago When,
I became a Victim
To PAIN

No One Knows,
No One Knows,
No One Knows My Pain;
But Me.


 Your failures in life come from not realizing your nearness to
 success when you give up.
-Yoruba Proverb

Poetry & Friendship,
Sarah A. Carter

Adam's Rib

I am the precious
of a creation,
The fruitful Genesis
of life,
The beauty
Of a budding rose,
I am the gentleness
Of a touch,
From a butterfly
In a pond,
As shy as
the drop of dew
From a Lily;
I am as sweet,
As the smell of
fresh chocolate;
The savor of homemade pies
I am the prompting,
of words
The seduction
of a Sonata
And, the humble lure
Of my opposite
I am the
Transparent elegance
Of fine crystal,
The exquisiteness;
Of a diamond in the rough
The sumptuousness,
Of a mansion-
I am the fawnest,
Of a kitten
The laughter of children;
And, the jubilation
Of praise,
Suffice for any man,
The Fetish of one.
Who am I?
I am Woman.
A Black Woman
And, I am of Adam's Rib

Temptin' Me

From the moment I met you
I knew I wuz diggin' you
Little did I know you
Were diggin' me too
And it's Temptin' Me

Your Eyes met mine &
Mine met yours
Kissing temptation
Into our soul

Waking up feelings, we soon
Can't control
But, there is someone else/
I am the Lover
you can't touch

I believe I can hear
My own heart beating
The thought of going there entering my mind
Damn near cheating
Thoughts of my other
being left behind
I can't think,…
You're Temptin' Me

My pulse gyrating - unsteady
My breathing heavy - Lord, don't let me
As desire begins to build
Conjuring, something in us;
That dances on the wings of lust
Temptin' Me every moment,
You are near

 I am the Lover
You Cannot touch

I am drawing Orgasmic thoughtz
When I look in your eyes
Passion in the way you look at me
I wanna get my freak on
I wanna moan.
I wanna be the ice cream
Dripping down the sides
Of your cone
Ooooh, you're temptin' me

Somethings going on
The temptation strong
Something there between you & me

There are times at night
When I can't go to sleep
Because, I know you'll be
There... crashing my dreams….

DREADLOCKED, NUBIAN, WARRIOR, KING, STALLION
I'm your
RIDING BAREBACK, NAKED LADY GODIVA

Halting the normalcy
In the sounds of my Zzzzz
I'm beginning to hear myself
Erotically moan
It's makin' me wanna pick
Up the phone
And say, "Baby come on"

I am the Lover
You cannot touch

This would be our relationshipz demise
Keepin' Temptation alive
The muzzle on my heart
Cannot be released
Yet, it's the desire that plucks
At my heartstrings
You're Temptin' Me

It's animalistic this pheromone,
This desires fire,
By the hands of temptation/
We're gonna Get burned
Its the going there that gets me
It'll be to late to regurgitate
Our indiscretion
I wanna get my freak on
I wanna moan.
& Before it dies,
Temptation, Is a Bytch
-Be it our last
Goodbye

Poetically MzBHavin'ãCopyright 2002

An Exercise in Royal Rhyme

Rhythms of
Silk & Satin
Spin out from their mouths
Like babes,
Interpreting phrases
As you would search for
A Diamond in the rough or Pearl
Poets' write from their hearts
Somewhere deep within the soul

A fettered fantasy, A formless fear
A time for waiting, & taking much too long,
To show itself, through lines, shape or song,
Rings of an aching heart,
Makes plain the sadness in tears,
Makes throbbing the ache of
Guilt, Truth & Lies, Right
Or Wrong

Here to drop
 Knowledge,  Honor, Truth & respect
More experience than pain
Muse flowing,
Prose saturating like, …rain

Descriptive like, …
A dark deadly wintry,
Nothing can grow while freezing,
Loneliness in loveless nights,
The violence in shootings, drug deals
& muggings

Care less for living in a city with useless poems
Racing,, zooming, tugging towards nowhere,
& toward no point
Much too fast for fledgling faculties to save it from crashing
Into crumpled notes, rumpled cliches & mixed up meanings
Give us some words, Give us some words
And a soaring imagination
We'll stay hungry
Meanings are for Masterful poems

I have struggled to carve a presence;
Some could care less for the cult of poems
Reach the people!
See that they "Catch the Fire!"
It is the coming of rhyme
A poets' archive never dies
From Love, Laughter, & Loss,
Heartache to Headache
Politics and the Political,
Does that automatically make a Master
Craftsman, out of me?
Does any of this matter?

Anticipation Of Love

Before we ever met...


There in my heart, 

You occupied a space 

accumulating dust

sifted and settled by time

I anticipated you,

between spaces of loneliness

and, the trespass of erroneous suitors

Anticipation of love -

I am tired of 

the fear of hurt...

wondering and guessing; 

debating with

and protecting

my heart from the unknown


I'm weary from pacing, and now I am done:

feeling somewhere deep within my heart, 

you are the one...


For once, I am willing to receive

Love with open arms

I do not want to pretend to know who you are

For when I am in Love:

no one can compete

with who you become to me;

for in my heart

in my image of you... “ to me “

you will be painted perfectly


I will not question myself, as to whether you can, Love me?

I will not have to ask... I will and should know.

Anticipation of love -

My heart is beating...

in every way, you make me feel about you, 

longing for your touch

and everyday as you draw near

like waves crashing against rocks.


Forever and a day? Infinity times two?

I am passionate, in...

Anticipation of becoming one with you. 


By Poetically MzBHavin'

Tired

But what if that's not enuff
It's like thru all tha bullshyt
I'm always tryna act tuff
Well
I'm tired of pretending
That I don't give a damn
Tryna pretend it's no big deal


I don't even know you
I'm tired of wondering
And guessing
How you really feel
Thinking that you care
But really
I don't know tha deal
No one can compete
With who I made you out to be
In my image
In my heart
You were painted
Perfectly
And I'm tired
Of pretending
That I know who you are
Tired
Of telling myself -
You alone
Could heal my scars
So tired of that fact
That we only ever get this far
So is this as good as it gets
After all this time
Cuz after everything
That we've been thru


Tired
Of pretending
One day it'll all be fine
Cuz it's a lie
And I'm tired
Of us never even working out
Tired
Of being vulnerable
Feeling so full of doubt
Tired
Of examining every sweet thing
That comes out ya mouth
Tired
Of tha silence
What
You can't speak to me now
I'm tired
Of trying to figure out
Who you want me to be
Tired
Of being afraid
And wondering
Just what you see
How many times
Did you have to judge
Before you finally figured out
Who Sarah really was
Why don't you let me know
What your trying to do
Cuz I finally hit tha breaking point
That's right...
I'm tired
Of YOU!!